He was special. He was the kind of dog that just sat next to you and melted his head into your leg. He wouldn't move. I read somewhere that they call this a "puppy sigh." He would just melt his heart right into your soul.
He has been having a hard time with his arthritis. He was 11. I was taking him to the veterinarian just for the routine stuff. But, I thought, how long could he hang on. When I was able to get him into the car. He just sank. I kept telling him, it was just for a short trip to the vet for a bordatella. I am not sure what happened, but he was different. I had a new harness for him that I could use to help him up stairs on. His back feet were weak. When we got into the examining room he just laid down.. Almost, a collapse of relief. I am still trying to understand this. It was like he was saying "I made it!" He wanted to go to heaven.
I am emotionally gone here crying. The vet agreed that there was so much more going on that he, a labrador that is so stoic hides his pain.
I am not ok. I will be.
I am happy though that I was there, I held my boy, I kissed him. I told him to go and see our loved ones in heaven.
I will be there too!