Last Sunday, February 18, 2018 a beautiful Missouri Fox Trotter was delivered all of the way from Missouri! The owner, who is also the Secretary/Treasurer of the Missouri Fox Trotting Association, drove the horse to me for a 13 hour trailer ride. The horse's registered name is Red Solo Cup. A three and a half year old gelding that stands 15 hands. I cried when I saw him. Jeff Shields, the owner, spent over four hours then with me and Redford (Red for short) on Sunday going over everything he knows and is use to. He is an incredible horse and I am in love.
I was lucky enough to love Jester. I was also lucky enough to have him love me for over 11 years. He was a very special horse with the most outrageous personality. He was Alpha in all that could be alpha. But, in private, he was my cross-dresser. I always called him that because he could be steel on the outside, but with a look and a blink from his eye, he softened to a heart of gold and love. He always had to keep up the front. But, I always knew what was behind it. He knew I knew and loved that. He gave me his heart, which I believe was totally mine. He had my heart completely. He was 18. He watched his best friend Guinness gain heaven in July, and he hasn't been the same since. He had a small lump on his side for many years but it never changed. After Guinness passed, in about two weeks time Jester developed over 17 different sized lumps around his neck area. Biopsy was Lymphosarcoma.
Well, today was the day after many Dr. visits, prednisilone for the cancer, and many many more tries. It was his time to gallop again. It was his time!!!! Gallop on Jester, I know you are having a great time without pain and seeing all of our loved ones. Watch over me, and your friends here. I loved you more than the world. You were my show horse, my riding horse, my Jess...
This is what happens when you love. Your heart gets broken!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But, my heart is also full of memories of Jester that will always be mine.
I too know the outcome of life, and we will be together soon. Thank you Dr. Michael Brown.
I have no words. I was blessed with my Guinness for 10 years. He came to me as a severely undernourished guy. I am actually not sure how he made it here to the farm. He was, and is the only horse that ever could calm my soul. If I had a tears in my eyes, he would run to me to comfort me, while my other horses would run. I would breathe in the smell of his neck. and we would stand in silence. He let me hold him, and hug him, and cry. He soothed all sorrow. His eye, was all knowing. There wasn't a time that I would be near him that I could look up and see he was watching me. I called him Guinness, but his name was "Handsome." He had a sweet spot, right at the corner of his lip crease. I would kiss him there and say, "your sweet spot." When he came to be with me, he then so starved, and not present for he was so abused, he would always keep a blade of grass in his mouth I never saw him without a blade of grass hanging like a toothpick. When he was laid to rest, there was a blade of alfalfa coming out of his mouth. It hadn't been there when he went to heaven. So much more to say. I love him. I LOVED HIM. When I told him how much I loved him, he laid his head in my arms on my chest. He then started to lick me. Over, and over, and over. He has never done this. I loved him so much... I and the other horses are not good. But, we know heaven, is real. We will see you there.
Thank you Dr. Michael Brown. Thank you Mary Beeman. Thank you Laurie Adamson.
Gallop on my guy! Visit me in my dreams. Until I see you again!
18 years old. Gained heaven 8-16-16
My tribute to you, which could never be enough.
Seems like I write here on my Fortuitous Farm website with remembrance. My posts are of loss. Another year has gone by, and I am at the eve of my husband George's passing. Fourteen years. That is a lot of years. At least so, I thought. You never know when your heart will break through with emotion. I was talking with someone yesterday, and they did not know of my life or my husband or past. I then said, "oh, Thursday will be 14 years... Fourteen years since my husband passed away. I could hardly get out the end of the sentence. Every single second of that day flooded back to me and I was paralyzed. Tears involuntarily came. I seriously thought, "what is wrong with me!" "Is this so deeply imbedded into my soul that I keep it hidden?" Not that I realized that I do. But, in that instance, it was REALITY again. Real again. I realized how much love has impacted my entire life. NO IT WILL NEVER GO AWAY. I don't want it to go away. I loved him. I still love him. So THERE. I loved you George Fix. I will always love you! I was definitely blessed to have you in my life for over 20 years. You are a part of my soul.
My cousin Krystie was a vibrant, happy, inspiring woman. I think of her often, especially, today. On the anniversary of her passing to the greatness of heaven. God, made her perfect, in every way. Except, he wanted his angel in heaven a bit too soon. It has been six years, but seems like yesterday to me, that she got her wings. She was unlike any person you have ever met. Forever in my heart. Love you!!!!
I thought my nieces and nephews might like this! ;) Hug your Dads!
The Six Ways You'll See Your Dad.
Click to set custom HTML
My dog, Max, a beautiful labrador was given to me by my beloved passed friend Herb Witter's family. I knew Max, as a puppy, and loved him the second I met him. I was lucky enough to have him over eight years.
He was special. He was the kind of dog that just sat next to you and melted his head into your leg. He wouldn't move. I read somewhere that they call this a "puppy sigh." He would just melt his heart right into your soul.
He has been having a hard time with his arthritis. He was 11. I was taking him to the veterinarian just for the routine stuff. But, I thought, how long could he hang on. When I was able to get him into the car. He just sank. I kept telling him, it was just for a short trip to the vet for a bordatella. I am not sure what happened, but he was different. I had a new harness for him that I could use to help him up stairs on. His back feet were weak. When we got into the examining room he just laid down.. Almost, a collapse of relief. I am still trying to understand this. It was like he was saying "I made it!" He wanted to go to heaven.
I am emotionally gone here crying. The vet agreed that there was so much more going on that he, a labrador that is so stoic hides his pain.
I am not ok. I will be.
I am happy though that I was there, I held my boy, I kissed him. I told him to go and see our loved ones in heaven.
I will be there too!
Today, March 10, 2015 is the anniversary of the passing of my husband George. I can't believe it was
thirteen years ago. Some days, it seems as though it was yesterday, and others - a life time ago. The time
is basically immeasurable when it comes to your loved one leaving. I think about this with my Mother and her grief of
my Father passing. She talks of a broken heart and she wants it repaired! Wants him BACK! Wants life to
basically be the way it use to be. I ache for her for I know the truth. The truth is that your journey after a
person has passed is your own. People do grieve with you, or for their own loss, but it is not the same.
As I write this my eyes fill with tears for the (a second ago) memory of my life with George. Was it yesterday? Did I dream it? It was yesterday in my heart. In the knot in my throat. In my eyes, heart, and soul. My GUT.
I then turn my thoughts to my Father. Today, was also the day he entered hospice one year ago today. Tough memories all around today. I love this photograph of George that I will place below. He definitely had a PRESENCE about him that
made my stomach get excited, and my lips smile. A twinkle in his eye. A strong-ness that protected me.
I miss you George Fix! You will be remembered for my lifetime…
In honor of Papa Don, I have selected a VERY short video of me wearing my victory cap for the SECOND
football contest win! OH YES! A huge thank you to my nephew Rick for photographing this!
This past weekend my brother Bob, wife Karen, daughter Suzanne, and my Mother came for a visit to the farm! We had a wonderful time, although there were a few complaints about how much food I had…. he he. I know it was really hard for my Mother to be here for the first time without my Father. So many memories here.
Everyone did enjoy meeting Harvey the doberman for the first time. He was definitely smitten with my Mother, and her him. Then, he met my niece and quickly fell IN LOVE. Here is a link to some of the photographs! Click on the photograph below to be taken to the gallery. Then, click one more time on the photograph to see all of the photographs in this gallery.
Jester being a bit NOSY