My Father's passing has encompassed me. I am trying to live, and not grieve. But, I can't help it. My life seems to have been about grief. Not just my Father, but two of my horses, four of my dogs, my husband, I stop count here. I don't wish to count for I realize that if we are lucky in life we get to live longer than the people we love. So, that means, GRIEF.
That makes me wish to not love.
I wrote about the Dragon Fly entering my home on the morning of my Father's passing. It was amazing. I didn't know at the time that it meant something. I didn't write about my horse Prince. Prince of Peace as my Father named him. After, Jesus.
The morning of my Father's death I walked down to the barn as usual. The four horses always line up in their "alpha" status. If a horse doesn't go in the order, they are subjected to flaring galloping confronting teeth of their upper alpha.
I told Prince as he walked down to the barn with me, that he was pretty much crazy. I knew he would be galloping off for a retreat to safety at any moment. He didn't. He kept walking, side by side with me to the barn. I looked back and the three alpha above him horses were transfixed in a line. They were not approaching. They let Prince come with me.
I thought, WOW. How strange and not right! Then, repeating the story later to my brother, he said, if there was a sign, that was a sign… from my Father.
There were so many more signs when I was home. Finding the lyrics to a song that was my Mother and Father's and to hear a verse that she had never heard. The song, "Always." Now that I have tried to look up the lyrics, it is not showing the one that my Mom didn't hear. It was something like, "when the spring will come, I will be gone, but I will love you always."
She told me, she had never heard that part of the song. Well, I printed it out for her, and now for some reason, I can't find that part of the lyrics on line.
I was down at the barn about three weeks ago, and I was bending over with the iPhone in my back pocket. It made some beeps.
I stood up and took my phone out of my pocket. It had on the screen that "Donald Lackey can't connect with you right now." Apparently, my phone had some how hit a Skype button. I have never used Skype. Where you are face to face with someone. I am not sure how my phone tried to do this. I also of course, haven't called my Father for a year. I have always called my mother's phone.
You know, I wanted to lay all of this to rest. In my mind. But, something happened this evening. Now, I have a fly that just landed on my screen of the computer. OK. It's gone.
Say what you will, but I wish to write what has happened now for me to remember.
My horse Guinness had a huge eruption of hives all over his body last evening. He was a mess. I called my Vet and he came right out. He is a very spiritual person. We started talking and I told him about the hind end call for a Skype and he said, you know, you have had several of these experiences and it is not a normal thing. You must be special and intuitive. I laughed. I said, well, yes, I feel I am in some ways. But, that was strange.
He treated my horse and we talked more and he said, "you know, I know Laurie where your Dad is," Then he had a phone call ring and said he had to GO. This is not an unusual thing for he has emergencies.
He hardly pulled out of the driveway and my phone beeped. I pulled it out of my pocket and then it started to play an Allen Jackson song. It's Five O'clock Some Where." I have NEVER played this song in my life. I didn't know even how to turn it off.
Could someone get access of my phone and do this?
So, today, everything was going OK. Then, my phone beeped. I pulled it out of my pocket again. The headline on top of my phone said : PHOTOGRAPHY
Some how, I had a new folder. I don't know how to make a folder.
In this folder was my Mail app, and my camera app.
I was upset, say the least.
How could this happen?
I have been upset with my love for my photography, and lack of followers.
Could this be a sign? My Father says, "do your Photography?"
I don't know. My hind end can't make a new folder and place two things into it by itself.
I then figured out how to remove the two folders from the MY PHOTOGRAPHY folder and took them out to my main screen.
Back where they were.
So, either I am an energized computer wiz that takes over my phone at moments I do not know about,
Signs from My Father…
Keep doing your photography
I just do not know.